Just Who I Am Today, Part 1

I've decided to take some time and look back what's happened to me over the past couple of years. These past years have probably been the best and worst years of my life. The best because I've learned so much and felt so much good emotion and finally established a friend I know I can rely on. Not to mention that I've made other accomplishments like winning awards and what not. Maybe the worst years of my life because I've lost a lot too. But I think what I've lost is what I'm more focused on right now. But then again, the things I've suffered through made me discover a few things about myself.

But as of today. I think of myself as a rebel. I think of someone who wants to stand out and be different than the others. I'm the kind of person that's either going to go out in style or find the end very soon. Right now, I'm also a pessimist, and that's okay because humor always finds me and I guess that's a good thing. I'm also the world's clumsiest person. For every ten steps I take, I trip at least twice. Just ask my friends. I spend a lot more time on the ground than on my feet.

I would like to say I've grown a little too. I've learned how to deal with loss. I've dealt with a close death for the first time. And I made it through alive and right now I'm doing great. I've also just dealt with love loss and a broken heart that still needs mending. But what I've lost has only made me discover more.

I think my discovery of FanFiction is worthy of mentioning. After my two friends died, another friend told me to go on FanFiction and read some stupid stuff to make me laugh. And I did and I ended up writing my own stuff and it's helped me discover that my writing isn't all that bad. I've communicated with some new people and shared some opinions and discussed some disagreements, but everything works out in the end.

Maybe I've even matured a little. Although sometimes I feel like I don't ever want to grow up. I've been put back into some kind of track that will bring me back to fitting in, but again, being a rebel has always been me. I don't think that will ever change. I think you've heard my discovery of atheism and that doesn't have to go any further. Let's not get started on that because I'll ramble.

But I've also discovered new friends. And I've learned how to find the people I can trust and unlike before, I'm currently happy with my social network I have. And I know how I've talked about supporting gay rights, and I'm going to tell you a little bit why I feel so strongly about gays having rights. It's been a while since I've known these two friends. We usually only see each other in the summer, and keeping in touch over the other months is easy when you have email and texting. But they confessed that they were gay. And they're the two people I'm glad to call friends because they've taught me a whole lot.

This is the reason why I stand so firmly by my belief in gays having the same rights as straight people. They taught me so much and they still do. I'm not just glad to call them friends, I'm proud because there's nothing wrong with them. Nothing should stand in the way of love.

Moving on, today I am just glad I've made it this far in life. I've got a long road still, or maybe I'm almost at the end. Who knows what lies ahead in the future? I could change a lot, or I could still be the same clumsy, rebellious, idiot I am.

That's just who I am, what I am, and how I am today.