The Hardest Part

The hardest part about breaking up is letting go. Part of me still wants to love my ex-boyfriend. That part of me is tell me that I still need him and that life without him is like living a nightmare. And for a while, it might seem that way. But really, he shouldn't mean anything to me anymore. Our time together is over, and perhaps I just need to let go.

But then again, letting go of him is also saying goodbye to a best friend. Not that I haven't done that before. I have been back stabbed by my best friends, and I had this coming towards me for a while. It only seems like it doesn't matter that my inner circle of friends only includes one person right now.

But I am broken, and I need to pick up the shards that I can find and try to piece myself back together. It's not just my heart that is broken, but it seems like everything around me has become broken too. Everything I'm around, something bad seems to happen. I'm surprised Kate, my best friend, hasn't turned on me either. But then again, we both don't have anything to lose except each other.

And right now I'm lost.

It seems everywhere I turn there is another growing problem. When I try to retrace my footsteps, it just seems dead weight drags behind me and I am still stuck with an irreversible problem. It's like the solution just slips through my fingers and I'm left on my knees with nothing but pain and sorrow.

Sad, sorrowful, and pathetic I am right now.