Reaching Rock Bottom

Don't you ever want to give up sometimes? Aren't there times when you wish that you could just end it all. Ah, perhaps you've thought about wishing that you could just disappear from the terrible situation in. And no, I'm not talking about suicide, so don't think I'm suicidal or anything.

But there are times when I feel like I could just shrink into the wall and stay there for eternity because things around me seem so bad. I guess I've really been through a lot lately and emotions get to you faster than usual. Way faster. I'd like to think that I'm okay and that I can get up everyday and face the world, but the truth is...I can't.

Death, destruction, pain...whatever is coming next, I guess I'll just have to embrace it because fighting it will only make things harder. But if God, for once, could send me some love in the near future, it would mean a lot to me. It's been really hard for the past few months and you know, some kind of love or good feeling would lift me up. Enlighten me.

It's funny, loss , well, not really but in some sad way it is. You can sit around and cry and cry until you've got no more tears, but then you'll cry some more anyway. I'm hitting rock bottom, as I like to sat sometimes. Each time is deeper, and sometimes I wish there was no such thing as being sad.

Perhaps I am a little depressed, but I'll press on right? Hopefully. You can only be hopeful, right? Well, perhaps there's a line you have to draw and there's being hopeful about something that could possibly happen on one side. On the other side is fantasy that will most likely never come true. You classify it yourself, and everything, or almost everything, is on the side that can possibly happen because you really do want to think that no matter how far fetched your wish could be.

Truthfully, I encourage to chase big dreams. There isn't anything impossible, it's just whether the time we have permits it to happen. Our only limit is time because in one lifetime, there isn't enough of that.

Am I rambling, maybe so. I'm in so much pain now, physically and mentally, but I'm trying to make it back to the surface away from these God for saken rocks that are weighing me down. I don't know if I'll make it though.